CultureGeek

More ENCHANTED Trivia!

Holy poisoned apples, I missed a bunch of in-jokes in ENCHANTED. Thanks to Wikipedia's mass of contributors, we get more!

• The storybook opening is a tribute to the openings of SNOW WHITE, CINDERELLA and SLEEPING BEAUTY, which I should have remembered.
• A frog is seen wearing a soap crown in the opening sequence, a reference to next year's THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG.
• Giselle looks through two blue gems, just like Dopey in SNOW WHITE.
• The jacket worn by the mannequin and the similar jacket worn by Robert at the ball is the same as the Beast's jacket in BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.
• The floating soap bubbles are a tribute to CINDERELLA.
• The troll is wearing remnants of Disney Princess dresses as a loincloth, and his earrings are Ariel's shells. Let's not think how he got them.
• I missed this completely: Giselle's cartoon treehouse has a bell jar containing a rose from BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.
• The troll's yell as he's flung across the screen is Goofy's wahahahooey.
• "Sam" is named after Prince Philip's horse Samson.
• I can't believe this got past me: the bus driver's hair is shaped like Mickey Mouse's ears.
• While the apple-bite sequence is shot-for-shot remaking SNOW WHITE, the shots of Giselle on the bier are from SLEEPING BEAUTY.
• The old guys dancing in the park sequence were chimney-sweep dancers in MARY POPPINS. Cool! I thought those old fellas had rhythm!
• The fake soap opera was full of BEAUTY AND THE BEAST references: Paige O'Hara plays "Angela," a tribute to Angela Lansbury (Mrs. Potts). The other character is "Jerry," as in Jerry Orbach (Lumiere). A third is mentioned named Ogden, as in David Ogden Stiers (Cogsworth). The background music is from the movie as well.
• Also on the TV: a clip from FUN AND FANCY FREE and an audio clip from DUMBO.
• The Grand Duke hotel in which Edward stays is named after the character in CINDERELLA.
• The camera angles during the dance at the ball are intentionally swiped from BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, as well as the song sung by an observer.
• Pulling the sword from the floor is a reference to THE SWORD IN THE STONE.
• Nancy's last name is "Tremaine" - the same last name as the Evil Stepmother in CINDERELLA.

MovieGeek: ENCHANTED trivia!

There be SPOILERS here!

When you go to Disneyland, a fun game can be the hunt for the Hidden Mickeys. They're everywhere, from the chicken nuggets to the manhole covers to the arrangement of the plates on the dining table in the Haunted Mansion.

Disney loves in-jokes as much as I do, and tiny Mickeys can be found everywhere in their movies. For director Kevin Lima, it became an obsession for him to slip in references to classic Disney films in ENCHANTED. In fact, the moment when Giselle bites the apple is, shot for shot, from the sequence in SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS.

So watch for these moments in ENCHANTED:

• Jodi Benson, the voice of Ariel in THE LITTLE MERMAID, plays Patrick Dempsey's harried secretary. She has great lines sneering at the possibility of happily-ever-after and mocking Giselle's naivete.

• When Giselle is gazing into an aquarium, the Muzak in the background is playing "Part of Your World" from THE LITTLE MERMAID. This is even funnier when you realize Jodi Benson is staring at her in disbelief.

• The Prince walks past the Belle Notte cafe, referencing the song during the famous spaghetti scene in LADY AND THE TRAMP. It's Italian, of course.

• Watch the billboards - you'll see WICKED and RENT for Idina Menzel and SUPERMAN RETURNS and HAIRSPRAY for James Marsden.

• Robert's law firm is Churchill, Harline and Smith - the names of the songwriters for SNOW WHITE.

• Look at the background in little Morgan's room, and you'll see more Disney merchandise than you can shake a magic mirror at - including, if I'm not mistaken, the Sleeping Beauty music box identical to the one I had at age seven. She has a Belle costume hanging on her wall while Giselle is telling her a story.

• The divorcing couple couple in Robert's office are the Banks - the family name from MARY POPPINS.

• Paige O'Hara, the voice of Belle in BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, is utterly hilarious as a femme fatale in a fake soap-opera scene on the TV while Prince Edward experiments with the TV zapper.

• When Edward knocks on an apartment door, he is greeted by a pregnant woman with three kids clustered around her. She tiredly tells Prince Charming, "You're too late" and slams the door in his face. "My apologies," he says, and moves on. The lady in question is Judy Kuhn, the voice of Pocahontas.

• Julie Andrews - Mary Poppins, natch - is the narrator.

• Robert (Patrick Dempsey)'s last name is Philip - the name of the prince in SLEEPING BEAUTY.

• An old woman Giselle encounters in Central Park asks her if she wants to feed the birds, a dollar a bag. It was "tuppence" in MARY POPPINS.

• A TV reporter is named Mary Ilene Caselotti, a mix between Mary Costa (Sleeping Beauty) and Adriana Caselotti (Snow White).

After all this, I was convinced the two old ladies at the ball were somehow cameos. Surprisingly... nope.

MovieGeek: ENCHANTED

It's hard to describe how ridiculously charming ENCHANTED is.

Meet Giselle, the latest Disney Princess hopped right out of the pink plastic packaging. The opening animation sequence - traditional hand-drawn 2-D! Yes! - is like every Disney stereotype crammed into
seven minutes: A beautiful, somewhat ditzy girl dreaming only of her true love. The lovely lady has the uncanny ability to command random critters with her voice. The heroic prince, of course, is Charming with a capital C, rescues her and it's happily ever after.

Except not, because an evil witch (deliciously played by Susan Sarandon) tosses Giselle through the magical equivalent of a wormhole and sends her to New York City. Instead of Prince Charming, she bumps into a divorce attorney (Patrick Dempsey) and single father who shades toward the cynical about romance. Shortly thereafter, Prince Woodenhead (hilariously cheesed up by James Marsden) follows to save her and bring her back to their magical animated kingdom.

Okay, so you can see the plot coming a zillion miles away.

It's the ride that's fun. Amy Adams was handed a role that could easily have been the most annoying character onscreen this year, and instead kept us laughing - and liking Giselle, despite her eternal cluelessness. With a 93-percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, the one constant in every review is Adams' wide-eyed perfection in this role.

I have to give props to James Marsden, stone-serious Cyclops in the X-Men movies and stone-serious so-doomed fiance to Lois Lane in SUPERMAN RETURNS. Who knew the square jaw could be so wonderfully cheesy that we'd need crackers to get through his scenes? Marsden is a delight as Edward, hopelessly lost as he battles through New York. He's trying to stick to an animated script in a live-action world, and P.S. Cyclops can sing!*

Meanwhile, we have Patrick Dempsey, drawn into Giselle's Disneyana blinking in confusion. Throughout a musical number in Central Park - wait, come back! It's absolutely hilarious. Giselle carries the magic of Disney with her, including the ability to get others singing and dancing along with her, and the only one who doesn't know the tune is Dempsey. Watch his face through that sequence and you won't be able to stop laughing.

Also, ladies? You will be in love with Dempsey by the end of the movie. Be warned.

Honestly, I went to this one because CultureGeek Jr. dragged me. It's a romantic comedy (ick) for kids (hoo boy). The promos made it look like yet another movie making fun of fairytales, a Shrek knockoff in live action, and I am sick unto death of movies mocking the things I loved as a kid just to prove how cool they are.

But then I saw it was actually made BY Disney, so I thought it wouldn't be too painful; and hey, it would have Patrick Dempsey in a blue waistcoat. I am not immune to McDreamy.

But I was surprised how funny and good-hearted it was. Disney struck the perfect balance between mocking the conventions of happily-ever-afters and embracing them, a balance SHREK never struck with me. The green ogre movies always struck me as being mean-spirited, mocking something that gave us all joy as children just to prove how modern and with-it we are.

ENCHANTED, by contrast, lets us enjoy that wonderful Disney magic while still nodding to the realities of modern life and the difficulties - impossibilities? - in achieving a Happily Ever After.

There are only two real disappointments for me. One is Giselle's dress at the inevitable ball - seriously, you guys dreamed up that cake topper she was wearing for her arrival and that's the best you can do for the big finish? (The fluffy dress, BTW, weighed 45 pounds. No joke.)

The other is that in a bit of inspired casting, Idina Menzel plays Dempsey's girlfriend. Menzel, of course, originated the role of Elphaba the Wicked Witch in WICKED on Broadway. She has lungs of steel and a commanding presence... and she doesn't sing. Not a note. Not a duet with Amy Adams about their affections for Dempsey, not even joining in a group number despite songs by Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz.**

I spent half the movie waiting for her to burst out in song, and was disappointed. Why??? It's like casting Dick Van Dyke as a security guard and not letting him dance. (Oh wait, that was NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM.) Or casting Arnold Schwarzenegger in an action movie and never letting him shoot anyone. Not once! I headdesk in Disney's general direction.

Extra credit goes to Sarandon for wonderful scenery-chewing as the inevitable Wicked Stepmother, to Timothy Spall (late of the Potter movies as Wormtail) for amusing sniveling as the double-agent henchman, and (shockingly) to the CGI chipmunk, who amused even me despite my allergy to computer-generated sidekick critters. P.S. Singer Jon McLaughlin's "star rating" on IMDB has gone up 561 percent in the last week due to his appearance during the ballroom scene.

SPOILERSPOILERSPOILER

For parents of daughters, worried that this is Disney's way to reboot their Disney Princess monotype and suck in another generation of helpless swooning femmes waiting for someone to save them: Relax. Giselle wises up a good bit, even if it does involve a shopping trip, and starts to find a little balance to her unrealistic happily-ever-after.

And you have to love any movie where, in the final battle with the dragon, it's the PRINCESS who picks up the sword and dashes in to save the day and her man. Brava, Giselle.

END SPOILERS

If you can watch this movie and not feel a bit of a tug in that place where you were a little kid, spellbound at the animated adventures Disney gave you, there's just no hope for you. Don't like musicals? Watch Dempsey's face as he falls into one, completely lost.

I predict this one will be around for a long time. Just fair warning: that gloriously cheerful song in the park will be stuck in your head for DAYS.

* Yes, I know about HAIRSPRAY. I was still surprised.
** Who, of course, was the composer/lyricist for WICKED.

TVGeek: JOURNEYMAN and CHUCK

If JOURNEYMAN isn't renewed, then it's clear to me there's no hope for television.

This latest "mission" for poor Dan was the second half of the two-parter where he went "off the rails," going against the mission for the greater good. Was this a punishment? Or was Livia right, and he was being tested? Who knows? The Powers That Be guiding Dan are quieter than those on ANGEL or QUANTUM LEAP, but they're sure nastier.

This episode was nearly flawless, constructed by a Swiss watchmaker of a writer and directed with a subtle flair rarely seen on the small screen. The acting is no joke, either. When Jack finally sees Livia standing in the hallway, Reed Diamond manages his frozen shock perfectly. It isn't a comic double take or a melodramatic swoon.

Best of all, the managing editor looking at him does NOT say, "You look like you've seen a ghost." He doesn't say it. He doesn't say it! We're all thinking it and he doesn't say it! Such subtlety has been missing from television for decades.

P.S. The managing editor won back my love last week, when he faced down the rogue FBI agent with, "You're the feds. Why don't you just hack his email and tap his phone without a warrant? Isn't that what you guys do these days?" (Paraphrase.) Hee. HEE!

Bravo to finally getting Jack on the same page, as they could have carried out the "skeptic" arc and making him the thorn in the family's side for eons. Instead, he's going to be part of the team. Yay! Also... what was with Crazy FBI Guy? "These people" always trip up by using cash? Whoa. Who else is leaping besides Dan and Livia? Could there be... an Evil Leaper?

Muahahahaha. I love this show.

CHUCK: "Chuck vs. the Nemesis"

Speaking of shows I love, the silliness of this week's lame subplot (Black Friday at the Buy More) was not enough to derail my love for this show. Chuck continues to be an Everyman we can adore, and I love that he's still the one leaping to the floor when the bullets are flying.

Best moment: Casey has a bonsai tree! HEE!

Best line: "Should I make popcorn or just beat the information out of you?" Casey always gets the best lines.

We have lived and suffered with Chuck-n-Sarah for half a season. They finally start moving forward, and Dead Bryce turns out to be not-so-dead. Well, I saw that coming. And Sarah's indecision is annoying.

However. Bravo to the creators for the moment when Sarah and Bryce are fighting back-to-back. Up until then, we've only seen the Bryce that Chuck knows: the friend who got him kicked out of Stanford to save him from the agency, the guy who shifted the intersect onto Chuck because he couldn't handle it, the competitor for Sarah's affections.

But in that moment, we see Bryce and Sarah as a team. The funny thing about Bryce is that in normal TV-land, Bryce would be the hero, the handsome square-jawed steely-eyed secret agent stepped whole and breathing from 24 or any of a dozen spy shows. He and Sarah would be the Mr. and Mrs. Smith of television. They really are suited together.

An extra bravo to the fight coordinator, who choreographed a fighting style worthy of mid-year BUFFY. Fighting style says a lot about a character, and while we've seen Sarah kick butt before, we've never seen her with a partner whose style so perfectly blends with hers. It says a lot without saying anything. Good job.

So that's why my Tivo is grounded. Because in the last thirty seconds, as Sarah must choose which phone to answer, Bryce's or Chuck's... The Tivo cut off. EARLY.

CultureGeek Jr. threw himself to the floor and screamed, "Nooooo!" in true Star Wars style. He had just cheered that Morgan was able to keep his scary-possessive girlfriend, and now this? Waiting until next week to find out which guy Sarah chose?

It's enough to make a kid cry.

StrikeGeek: Back to the tables with you!

Wanna know how the strike talks are going? Me too. EW reports that the talks are going on at an undisclosed Hollywood hotel and there will be a mutual media blackout. Settle, darn ye!

EW also gives us the countdown, as THE OFFICE is the only show with no episodes left.

Two Episodes Left: MY NAME IS EARL, PRIVATE PRACTICE, THE UNIT, TWO AND A HALF MEN

Three: BACK TO YOU, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, GREY'S ANATOMY, HEROES, HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, PUSHING DAISIES

Four: BIG SHOTS*, BROTHERS & SISTERS, CRIMINAL MINDS, DIRTY SEXY MONEY, SHARK, THE GAME, 30 ROCK, 'TIL DEATH, WOMEN'S MURDER CLUB

Five: BONES, CHUCK, GOSSIP GIRL, HOUSE, JOURNEYMAN, PRISON BREAK, REAPER, SUPERNATURAL, UGLY BETTY

Six: GIRLFRIENDS, LIFE IS WILD*

Seven: BOSTON LEGAL, CARPOOLERS*, FAMILY GUY, SAMANTHA WHO?, SMALLVILLE

Eight: CAVEMEN*

Ten: THE SIMPSONS

Eleven: ALIENS IN AMERICA*, K-VILLE*, KING OF THE HILL

Twelve: NOTES FROM THE UNDERBELLY*

Thirteen: AMERICAN DAD, OCTOBER ROAD

Fourteen: MEN IN TREES*

Fifteen: EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS

Meanwhile, NBC has ordered full seasons of CHUCK and LIFE, which should make many of us happy. Still waiting to hear on BIONIC WOMAN and arguably the best new drama of the year, JOURNEYMAN. If the latter isn't renewed, I simply weep for the future of television.

Waiting to hear what I thought of last night's HEROES? Keep waiting. My Tivo hiccuped and grabbed a rerun of BONES instead. Whahuh? As I scramble to fix my Season Pass list, I'll be looking to find last night's ep... on the 'net.

* Wait, that hasn't been canceled yet?

TrekWatch!

I'm running a bit behind! Today's addition to TrekWatch actually appeared a couple of weeks ago, on BONES: "The Boy in the Time Capsule." Patrick Fischler, who plays Gil Bates in this episode, earned his Trek card on ENTERPRISE as Mercer. It's not Mr. Fischler's first appearance on TrekWatch, though - he was a bouncer on MOONLIGHT a couple of weeks beforehand. Make your own "moonlighting" jokes.

So here's the updated Trek Watch! I wonder how long the list will be by the end of the season?

TREKWATCH

• Rene Auberjonois (Odo, DS9) will be recurring on BOSTON LEGAL this year. 

• Jim Beaver (Admiral Leonard, ENTERPRISE) is Bobby on SUPERNATURAL.

• John Billingsley (Dr. Phlox, ENTERPRISE) guested as a gambling addict on JOURNEYMAN and will have a recurring role on 24 this year.

• James Black (helmsman, DS9) plays Lt. Carl Davis on MOONLIGHT.
• Michelle Bonilla (Bu'kaH, ENTERPRISE) guested on JOURNEYMAN.
• Denise Crosby (Tasha Yar, Next Gen) guested as a bereaved wife on BONES.

• Thomas Dekker (Picard's son, GENERATIONS) will be John Conner in the as-yet unaired SARAH CONNER CHRONICLES.
• Patrick Fischler (Mercer, ENTERPRISE) played a club gatekeeper on MOONLIGHT.
• Bonita Friedericy (Rooney, ENTERPRISE) is Gen. Beckman on CHUCK.

• Bryan Fuller, former writer/producers for DS9 and VOYAGER, is now producing PUSHING DAISIES.
• John Glover (Verad, DS9) is a regular on SMALLVILLE.
• Whoopi Goldberg (Guinan, NEXT GEN) has taken over for Rosie O'Donnell on THE VIEW.

• Kelsey Grammer (Capt. Bateson, NEXT GEN) is starring in BACK TO YOU.

• Dominic Keating (Malcolm Reed, ENTERPRISE) has shown up several times in a minor role as an Irish gangster on HEROES.
• Malcolm McDowell (Dr. Soran, GENERATIONS) is expected to show up in flashbacks this season on HEROES.
• Robert Duncan McNeill (Tom Paris, VOYAGER and Nick Locarno, NEXT GEN) directs and produces CHUCK.

• Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Xindi, ENTERPRISE) is Sam and Dean's flashback dad on SUPERNATURAL.

• Nichelle Nichols (Nyota Uhura, STAR TREK) is a recurring character on HEROES as little Micah's great-aunt (I think).

• Jeffrey Nordling (Tahna Los, DS9) will have a recurring role on 24.

• Ethan Phillips (Neelix, VOYAGER) has guested on BOSTON LEGAL.

• Zachary Quinto (soon to be young Spock in the new movie) plays the evil Sylar on HEROES.
• Scott Rinker (Gareb, ENTERPRISE) played a scientist/lover of a BONES Victim of the Week.
• Christine Romeo (Susan Khouri, ENTERPRISE) appears on MOONLIGHT as a victim's mother.
• Tim Russ (Tuvok, VOYAGER; criminal, DS9; random lieutenant on Enterprise B, GENERATIONS; Devor, NEXT GEN) is a regular on SAMANTHA WHO? as a doorman.

• William Shatner (Capt. Kirk, STAR TREK, duh) stars in BOSTON LEGAL.

• Armin Shimerman (Quark, DS9) has guested on BOSTON LEGAL.

• George Takei (Hikaru Sulu, STAR TREK) plays (played?) Hiro's father on HEROES.
• Terrell Tilford (Mareb, ENTERPRISE) played Dr. Aldridge on BONES.

• Tony Todd (Alpha Hirogen, VOYAGER; adult Jake, DS9; Kurn, NEXT GEN/DS9) is the director of the CIA on CHUCK.
• Stephen Weber (Bajoran Col. Day Kannu on DEEP SPACE NINE) guested as a high-powered defense attorney on LAW & ORDER: SVU.
• Wil Wheaton (Ensign Crusher, NEXT GEN) is set to be on NUMB3RS on Nov. 23, which will be my sole reason to watch the show.

• Ray Wise (Arturis, VOYAGER; Liko, NEXT GEN) is the Devil on REAPER.

MovieGeek: THE MIST

THE MIST
Directed by Frank Darabont
Starring Thomas Jane, Andre Braugher, Marcia Gay Harden

In which CultureGeek writes a review in two parts, because I’ve never been so absolutely conflicted about a movie.

For 95 percent of this movie, I was spellbound. THE MIST is one of my favorite King novellas anyway, and Frank Darabont is one of the few moviemakers who really gets King, as witnessed by his excellent adaptations of THE GREEN MILE and THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION.

Stephen King books are about one superficial bugaboo on top and something else underneath. CUJO is about a rabid St. Bernard on top and the strains of holding together a marriage underneath. IT is about a shape-changing evil clown on top and the unique quality of imagination – and the loss of same – in childhood underneath. THE SHINING was about a haunted hotel on top and alcoholism underneath, which is something Stanley Kubrick never got and watch me go on a tangent already!

Darabont gets that. He got that SHAWSHANK was about the power of hope and redemption, not “guy escapes from prison,” and that’s what makes it brilliant.

THE MIST is about hopelessness and the things we turn to in times of same. It’s summarized easily in something a character says: People are essentially good as long as the machines work and you can dial 911. But take that away, and watch the viciousness erupt. It’s an age-old theme.

The scares in THE MIST are real and tangible. There’s enough gore to satisfy anyone short of a SAW fan, and still those of us less than enamoured of torture porn can survive it. The human drama is real and powerful, and if Mrs. Carmody is annoying as you-know-what, that’s real too. Her threat is real.

For what bothered me about THE MIST, I have to go into super-deluxe spoiler mode. King himself has lauded the new ending and ordered that anyone who spoils it should be hung by the neck until dead. His words, not mine. I would never want to go afoul of a man who can dream up Pennywise the Clown, so please, go no further if you have not seen this movie.

SPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILER

Here's the thing I hated about the ending, and it seems to be slightly different than what everyone else hated about it: I'm a mother. I bought everything David Drayton did through the entire movie. There is simply nothing you won't do to protect your child. We all fear the moment when the monsters are real and somehow we must protect. He swore to his son he wouldn’t let the monsters get him.

But.

When the car sputters to a stop, all is quasi-serene. Yes, the survivors just saw the hundred-foot superspider or whatever, but Kingosaurus Rex just walked on by, didn't it? There is no IMMEDIATE danger to the quintet in the Land Rover.

I simply do not buy Drayton turning to his son's wide-eyed face and pulling the trigger.

As a mother, I don't know that I ever COULD pull the trigger. But I know it would take an immediate, overwhelming threat to do so, and even then I think the monsters would be gnawing on my limbs before I could hurt my child to "save" him. As Drayton discusses the bullet situation with the others, I found myself thinking, "Yeah, but that's the last resort. Any moment now something's going to attack the car, it'll look like the critters are going to get in, and THAT'S when he'll have to choose to shoot his son."

But they don't. He just goes ahead and shoots. So when the tanks come rolling, I was shouting, "You moron! Should've waited until you absolutely HAD to!"

Well, no, I wasn't. I was glaring at the stupid teenyboppers in the theater with me* who seemed to think this was ERNEST GOES TO HELL and had been laughing through the entire movie. Yes, death and misery and grief and terror and religious mania and the end of the world, whatta pile a yuks. I tell you, I don't know how to live in a world where young folk think this stuff is funny. That’s a whole different CultureGeek rant, coming soon to a blog near you.

There’s a strong argument for the theme of the movie: Mrs. Carmody tells David et al that their lack of hope will be their downfall, and her blind faith will save them. It is a perverse twist of fate, then, that the “believers” in the store likely were saved and David’s crew died because they had no faith that they would be saved.

But for me, the irony wasn’t enough to justify the ending. Many have pointed out how unlikely it is that a) the army could miraculously swing in to save the world, and/or b) that they wouldn’t have heard the battle taking place right behind the Land Rover.

But still others, skilled horror writers themselves, have seen it as a twist intended only to laugh at the audience. We’ve reduced this man this far – let’s see if we can make it even worse! “Needlessly cruel" is the word one writer used for the ending. I love horror, but I don't watch torture porn. This was emotional torture porn, at least the ending was. I still don't know how I feel about it.

It disturbed me for days, and perhaps that's the hallmark of good horror. I know I'd have a lot of trouble making it through PET SEMATARY or CUJO now, thanks to King's viciousness in this particular area. I'm a mother now, and that makes a difference. What horrifies me now is different than it was ten years ago.

But that last moment needed an immediate threat for me to believe it. And in the end, we have to believe it to be afraid of it.

It was the 10:35 p.m. showing at Ronnie's 20 in St. Louis on Wednesday night, so if you were there, SHAME ON YOU.

Happy Thanksgiving From CultureGeek!

Yes, CultureGeek will be off until Friday. There's a pile o' turkey with my name on it, folks.

But I'd never leave you on your own! Here's a few recommendations to help you avoid football and your relatives:

• CRIMINAL MINDS, 8 p.m. CST Wednesday. The crew believes one of their own has been targeted by a serial killer. Creepy! Special note: Nicholas Brendon, late of BUFFY, is to guest-star.

• THE INCREDIBLES, 7 p.m. CST Thursday. If the kids are absolutely driving you nuts post-pumpkin pie, this should help the adults digest. It's a great romp, a lot of fun for the kids and adults as well - in my opinion, the best of the Disney-Pixar set.

• OCTOBER ROAD, 9 p.m. CST Thursday. The second season opens (finally). Fans of the show should be ecstatic, all six of them.

• If you're looking for creepier fare, check out the Hitchcock marathon on AMC Thursday. THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH, VERTIGO, DIAL M FOR MURDER, REAR WINDOW, THE BIRDS and PSYCHO, all in a row. If you can get through all that and not need a shrink, drop me a line!

• Teenyboppers will like THE PRINCESS DIARIES (7:30 p.m. CST Thursday on ABCFamily) or the Hannah Montana marathon on the Disney Channel (shudder). On Friday, they inflict HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 2 on us.

• THE FAMILY MAN (7 p.m. CST Friday) an above-average weeper starring Nicolas Cage as a rich, hard-driving businessman who suddenly wakes up with the other life he could have had: wife and children in suburbia, but broke and struggling. I'm not one for the sappy dramedies, but I liked this one.

• When you absolutely, positively have to get away, run to the theater and see THE MIST. Finally! Stephen King's creepfest about a mist with things in it comes to the big screen, directed by Frank Darabont (GREEN MILE) and starring, among others, Andre Braugher. I am there, folks.

• Wanna rental? Try WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING. Yes, I recommended a romantic comedy, try not to faint. Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman charm, the family is sufficiently kooky, but the real key to this movie is the visceral human need for family, especially during the holidays. It might be worth a reminder.

• Of course, geeks throughout the known universe will be glued to the SciFi Channel, as BATTLESTAR GALACTICA shares with us the story of the Pegasus. RAZOR, a two-hour TV-movie, premieres Saturday at 8 p.m. CST. Thou shalt not miss.

And... there isn't a single showing of IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE. What is the matter with people?? That's what I'LL be watching. In the meantime, safe travels and remember not to strangle your relatives. I'll see ya on the flip side.

StrikeGeek: SNL, A Class Act

I have slammed Saturday Night Live pretty much any time I've mentioned it, which hasn't been often. They say the show used to be funny. I was forced to watch it a lot in the early 1990s, because I babysat for a family that went out every Saturday night and they set the VCR to record it. No, you couldn't record one thing and watch another. I'm old.

Even then, I didn't think it was all that funny. As an adult, the few skits I've seen have lacked a certain quality, that of "humor." Honestly, I thought the best part of STUDIO 60 was the monologue that opened the pilot, in which Judd Hirsch said the show used to be about biting social satire and is now about pratfalls. And not the Gerald Ford type.

But the current SNL crowd stepped up this week, as the powers that be held a benefit show at a New York theater to benefit the workers who were laid off because of the writers' strike.

And kudos to NBC, which gave permission for them to use unaired material that technically belonged to the network as "work-for-hire," so that they could give money to the guys holding the mike and running the cameras. The strike isn't just affecting megamillionaires and scribbling scribes, it affects everyone from the print shop that used to make copies of 900,000 scripts to the guys who set up the shrubbery in the background as the good guys fight the bad guys.

Norah Jones did the guest vocals. The standing-room-only crowd paid $20 apiece to get in, but methinks they underpriced it a tad, since it was the hottest ticket in town.

Best moment, according to the Huffington Post write-up, was this: "We are people too. We have children. We have housekeepers. We have children with our housekeepers." - Fred Armisen as studio head Roger A. Travanti

That said, it was pretty clear to me why most of the sketches were cut. Hey, some people still find it funny. It's been renewed for several more years. But really, I rise to my feet and applaud because there's a cameraman who can pay the rent for another month. Bravo, SNL.

EDIT: Today's Strike Humor. The real winner in this strike is YouTube, I swear. My favorite line: "I have unresolved plot points!" You, me and every fan of HEROES, buddy.

MovieGeek: RED EYE

RED EYE
Starring Rachel McAdams and Cillian Murphy
Directed by Wes Craven

It's difficult to like a movie when our heroine is stupid, but I still managed to enjoy RED EYE. It was perfect Netflix candy: an evening's diversion, but nothing that I want to run out and buy for my collection.

You'll remember this one: an Everywoman ends up next to a psycho on a plane. Great premise, okay execution, highlighted mostly by the Scarcrow - er, Cillian Murphy - as a good villain and a genius promo that made this movie look like a traditional romantic comedy, two strangers meet on a plane... only one of them is a killer. Oops!

I realized that the heroine was stupid when she wrote a little message in a book she's loaned to a kindly elderly lady. Exactly what is the lady supposed to do? And I would automatically assume anyone I told about the killer next to me would be, y'know, killed.

Still, Rachel McAdams fills out the damsel in distress much better than most pretty faces would. She plays the panic well, though after a while we wonder how much of a coper our damsel is. Her get-a-grip moment comes after far too much panic and teary sniffling for my taste. Then again, my taste is generally more Sarah Conner, who would have made mincemeat out of Murphy. Still, Murphy offered just the right balance of charm and menace.

Spoilers ahoy!

The biggest problem with this movie is suspension of disbelief: It's impossible for their conversation not to be overheard. You can't help but overhear people on a plane. The hard part is tuning out others' conversations. It would have been better to have a movie playing on the plane, with everyone using their headphones, to be honest.

There's also the frantic run through the airport. There is no place in the continental U.S. with more hyper security than an airport. At any moment, Our Heroine could have grabbed help, and likely would have been stopped at several points by concerned security. Or, perhaps, she could have snagged a pay phone? They do still have them.

Still, I was glad that the writers remembered in the last ten seconds that the imperiled father poor McAdams is desperately trying to protect is, in fact, a retired military security man. I really wish they had done more with his background earlier, because I found myself wondering why he couldn't defend himself against one guy in a BMW.

(Side note: Sometimes I just don't understand product placement. What benefit does it serve BMW to have its logo prominently visible on the car in which the killer sits? "Our brand is the preferred choice of all terrorist cells!")

Unfortunately, while the claustrophobia of the plane is quite intense, things derail once Our Heroine is battling the bad guy in her father's home. Yes, we needed a final confrontation, but it unfortunately made RED EYE into a run-of-the-mill killer-thriller instead of the taut brilliance it could be. They also tried too hard to get an explosion into the story - it really wasn't needed, and didn't add any excitement.

If you want an example of how menace can be achieved with utter brilliance in a confined location at long distance, watch PHONE BOOTH. That, friends and neighbors, is how you do it right.

Still, RED EYE will fill a couple of hours. I've seen much, much worse, folks. Also: the gag reel on the DVD is totally worth your time. The little-girl actress is a force to be reckoned with, and there's outtakes of director Wes Craven reading a newspaper in the airport. I giggled like a schoolgirl as some smart aleck on the plane started singing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" as they practiced rockin' and rollin' on the plane, and someone shouted back, "It isn't a musical!"

Yes, I'm doing something besides watching TV. Whaddya want, it's sweeps! Don't worry, sooner or later they'll run out of shows, and unless next week's negotiations bear some fruit, we'll all be watching reality TV or upping the Netflix by Christmas.