Before we sign off for a weekend full of Shyamalan apocalyptica and big stompy green men, I have to share this with you. It is, quite possibly, the most wonderfully geeky clip I have yet seen on the web.
This is more fun than all three of the prequels combined. I do have to wonder... wasn't Chewy BROILING in that getup?? Watch all the way to the end. I dare you not to laugh out loud.
Have a good weekend, and stay out of the rain!
Talk about leaving something to the last minute - I finally caught the Shakespeare Festival last night, and I can heartily recommend it.
This year's opus from the Bard is THE TRAGEDY OF RICHARD III, and despite a supremely silly poster, it's a brilliant production. The top performance is, of course, Andrew Borba as Richard. Borba manages the sly, conniving usurper to the throne with perfection, making us laugh even as we recoil in horror. He falters a little at Richard's darker turns in the second act, but in the end, we understand Richard, even as we cheer his inevitable destruction.
Other bright spots include Claudia Robinson as Queen Margaret, whose intensity lit up the stage; Lise Bruneau as Queen Elizabeth, who was the sole woman to truly hold her own against Richard; and young Cameron Davis as the Prince of Wales. Davis is a remarkable surprise, having just graduated high school - where he co-directed THE TEMPEST. His performance as the young prince clearly showed the young man's naivete, but also his nascent kingship and presence. Bravo, Mr. Davis - we shall be seeing more of you.
As always, the Shakespeare Festival is a blast and a half. Sitting out under the stars and listening to the words of the Bard with a glass of wine and your friends is a treat I have not missed for the last several years - even when they stopped serving gelato, to my eternal regret. While the rain is likely to spoil much of the weekend, if you have a chance, see King Richard's fall from grace. You won't be disappointed.
Since it's the beginning of June, and the beginning of summer, sweeps are over and all our favorite serieses (is that a word?) have wrapped.
Some did so quite brilliantly (SUPERNATURAL!) and some fell over and flopped on the ground (SMALLVILLE! BONES!). Some aren't quite done yet but are doing their level best to confuse the heck out of us (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA!) and some vanished without a trace, to our sadness (JOURNEYMAN! NEW AMSTERDAM!).
So before we start the summer of our content, I'd like to ask YOU: What would you like to see here?
I've been concentrating more on reviews of books and movies of late, not quite so much the regular TV recaps and Geek News. This comes from my attempt to read your minds (ommmm) and discern what interests you.
Now that the Tivo is empty, what do you want to hear? A parade o' movies, from the summer blockbusters to emptying the Netflix queue? Should I try all the TV serieses (there it is again) that you thought I should have been watching all year but BIONIC WOMAN got in the way? What books should I be reading? (Yes, I've read STORM FRONT and the review is forthcoming, so shush.) Is there a new comic that deserves my attention, as long as it doesn't have the words "Crisis" or "Civil War" in it?
This is CultureGeek, taking requests. Just don't say "American Idol." Not happening.
As we head into this glorious Memorial Day weekend, folks, I'd like to suggest an alternative to fattening grilled meats and endless sporting events and sneaking off to see INDIANA JONES in the movie theater.
I suggest you try out the St. Louis Renaissance Faire.
Welcome to Petit Lyon, a 16th-century French village right here in the St. Louis area. Go comfy in shorts and sneakers, or dress up in your best garb. Nothing is out of place here.
Watch knights on horseback conduct a real joust before the King (with paramedics standing nervously by). Enjoy a turkey leg, a mug of ale and the Celtic trills of the incomparable Three Pints Gone. Peruse the best collection of fantasy and medieval art this side of Dragoncon, or pick up lovely handmade jewelry and costumes at the various vendors.
The kids get to seek out stamps from actors portraying the common roles of the medieval time, and upon 
completing their tasks, are knighted (or princessed) by the Queen's handmaiden. If you look quickly, you might spy Robin Hood and Maid Marian ducking away between the trees as the Middle Eastern dance troupe performs and the King parades by with his court.
Folks, it's a barrel of fun. CultureGeek Jr. and I attended last weekend, and we had a blast. Dig up the old Halloween costume if you want, or just go to observe. The kids might see a faerie in the woods, and they'll definitely have a good time.
I won't lie to you - it's a long drive, approximately one hour from Madison County to Wentzville's Rotary Park. If you go to their web site, you can download a coupon that helps defray the cost of the gas. But folks, it's worth it.
The St. Louis Renaissance Faire runs Saturdays and Sundays through June 8, plus Memorial Day. And if you see the Queen, remember to bow!
Harry Dresden.
Bestselling book series. Promising TV show destroyed by Stupid Network Tricks. Rocketing comic book. Movie star?
Jim Butcher seems determined to make it difficult for me to tag the Dresden Files.
Butcher's bestselling fantasy/mystery series began with STORM FRONT, following a private detective in Chicago who's actually a wizard. Okay, he's in the phone book as a wizard, but the formula of the stories is essentially that of the private eye with plenty of Hogwarts action.
I'll admit, I haven't read the books. My friends have practically shoved them into my hands, however, and I swear when I'm done with the latest Ellen Datlow anthology I'm onto Dresden.
I did watch the series, and was mildly disappointed - but not surprised - when it got the ax from the Sci-Fi Channel. Dresden never had a chance, my friends. He was Fireflied. (Yes, it's now a verb.)
Here's the episodes in order of airing:
Episode 3: "Birds of a Feather"
Episode 4: "The Boone Identity"
Episode 5: "Hair of the Dog"
Episode 2: "Rules of Engagement"
Episode 7: "Bad Blood"
Episode 8: "Soul Beneficiary"
Episode 6: "Walls"
Episode 1: "Storm Front"
Episode 10: "The Other Dick"
Episode 9: "What About Bob?"
Episode 11: "Things That Go Bump"
Episode 12: "Second City"
Seriously, what are network executives thinking when they do this? The two-hour pilot caused them all to panic and make last-minute changes in the series casting and plot points, which always means a vastly improved product, right? *crickets chirp* We expect this from Fox, not from the network of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA. (Imagine watching THAT one out of order.)
Note to all people in TV Land: You cannot air a speculative fiction show out of order.
When creating a whole new world out of thin air, the reader needs a certain amount of exposition and character development. It would be like watching RETURN OF THE JEDI without seeing STAR WARS or EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. Exactly why does Luke have only one hand? What is this whole thing about a sister? Darth Vader is WHAT?
Then, when you finally get around to the early expositional episodes, it's like a hammer to the brain. "Yes, we KNOW."
When Fox did this to FIREFLY, skipping the pilot episode entirely, poor Joss Whedon spent the next few episodes shoving chunks of exposition into clunky dialogue so the poor viewers could maybe catch up and understand what's going on.
"Well, remember that Simon left a promising medical career and busted his sister out of the secret government encampment, and that's why we're all on the run and can't trust the Alliance!" So when you watch it on DVD, you spend the first four episodes facepalming, "Yes, we KNOW."
The inevitable cancellation of THE DRESDEN FILES by the network that Fireflied it has not killed the series, not by a long shot. There's speculation that there may be a series of TV movies, or even theatrical releases.
In the meantime, Dabel Brothers is putting out "Welcome to the Jungle," a comic series prequel to the Dresden books. The first issue came out last month and sold out by May 2.
As fellow comic geek Rachel Quon Kluesner wrote, "Good reviews (for the Dresden comic book), but it is unknown yet if they are going to introduce the comic with issue #1, or if they will be starting with issue #4, then #7, then #2 until fan outcry forces the publisher to issue #1."
In the meantime, there's a role-playing game under development and the books sure aren't suffering. Number 10, SMALL FAVOR, came out a month ago and immediately hit No. 1 on Publishers Weekly's bestseller list, held onto the New York Times bestseller list for at least three weeks... Everyone's wild about Harry.
I swear. Right after the anthology...
Yes, folks, it's happened. All that was needed to turn around this international pinfest: Stephen Colbert mentioned the International Monopoly on last night's show. It was part of the threatdown, along with Virgin Airlines, Sharper Image's bankruptcy, John McCain and Starbucks.
As Colbert denounced both the unfairly "international" aspect of International Monopoly and the lack of Colbopoly, however, he also left off a very important detail: exactly where did you first hear about International Monopoly, sir? I'm sure it wasn't the New York Times.
A press release from Hasbro, perhaps? Or the blog of Peter David, writer of stuff, from whom I nabbed it?
No, I think the answer is clear.
Stephen Colbert reads CultureGeek. In secret.
It's okay, Stephen. You can come out of the closet. We will welcome you. You have the shield of Captain America up on your wall, you are clearly a geek of Kryptonian proportions. One of us. Resistance is futile.
And we're still voting for St. Louis.
All right, people. Time for a little rank, uncensored, mindless patriotism. Why not! It's an election year!
The Hasbro people are putting together the first-ever international Monopoly, and they're letting us all vote on the inclusion and placement of each city. You get to vote once a day, and they swear not to spam you. (This, folks, is why I have a throwaway email account. Recommended for all. Hotmail and Yahoo are free!)
You can choose from the leading cities, or wild-card nominate one. Since St. Louis wasn't on the list, I took the liberty of nominating us. Since we are, in fact, the coolest city in the U.S., I'd love to see all my CultureGeek minions - er, loyal readers - go forth and join me in nominating St. Louis, so we can get ourselves on the map.*
Here's the problem, though. They've taken away the leaderboard, so we can't see who's winning. But author/blogger Peter David reports that as of a couple days ago, New York City was relegated to the yellow section and Las Vegas is somewhere around Baltic Avenue.
Who's in the Broadway spot? Istanbul.
"Personally, I think this is an abysmal state of affairs," David writes. "Istanbul the number one city of international Monopoly? The best thing one can say about Istanbul is that it's a catchy song covered by 'They Might Be Giants.' But 'New York, New York' is practically an anthem."
Turkey has apparently taken this on as a mission. The Turks, they can work together. But as David points out, there's 70 million of them and 300 million of us. Lacking that, we've got the Marines. We can take 'em.
David might be rooting for New York. I, of course, am rooting for St. Louis. Barring that, New York will do. I'm an American, after all, and I've seen New York obliterated by giant monsters so often, I feel a certain kinship with the Big Apple.
We have two days before Hasbro shuts down the nominations. Go forth and show your patriotism! Of course, I've just tipped off the international readers of CultureGeek**, so the game, it is ON.
Pardon the pun.
* Please note, it's a little wonky. You have to use their auto-fill process. Start by typing "Saint," not "St.", and let it autofill the rest.
** C'mon. There's gotta be ONE.
I thought it was just an oversight. Now I'm angry.
The Annual Deathmarch on Oscar Night was extended to Jan. 31 this year so Heath Ledger could be included. Ledger's sudden, shocking death caused such a furor, it would have been an enormous mistake to leave him off.
But then they left off Brad Renfro, the young actor whose drug habit killed him a week before Ledger's overdose.
Some thought perhaps Renfro would be put on next year's list, that Ledger's inclusion was some kind of exception. But it turns out, Renfro was cut on purpose. Blogs have been buzzing all day.
"We can't include everyone," a rep had the colossal gall to say.
Okay. The list I printed yesterday was "people you might have heard of." It didn't include the wide array of FIFTY studio executives, producers and I-kid-you-not AGENTS who made the list. AGENTS, people. So far away from the audience none of us could name a single one. But Brad Renfro doesn't qualify? Adding a whole five seconds to the Deathmarch?
Let's recap, shall we?
Brad Renfro debuted as the child lead in THE CLIENT, and held his own opposite Susan Sarandon and Tommy Lee Jones. He was intense and street-smart, a quality that held him through later child roles and into the Barry Levinson drama SLEEPERS. As a young man, he faced off with Sir Ian McKellen in APT PUPIL, a taut Stephen King character drama about a teenager obsessed with the Nazis.
When he died of a heroin overdose, he had just completed a movie titled THE INFORMERS, co-starring Winona Ryder and Billy Bob Thornton.
This young man deserved this tiny, five-second accolade. His was a fire I still remember more than 10 years after first seeing him on the screen, a fire that burned out much too soon.
Oscar has always been more than a little insular, rewarding itself according to its own narrow picture of the universe instead of responding to the thirst of the wider audience. But to remember its moneymen and ignore a young man destroyed by the very culture of hard living and fast dying it fosters? How disgusting.
I expect to see an apology and poor young Renfro included as the first name on next year's list. If not, the Academy risks losing what little goodwill they have left, after years of nominating movies no one but Hollywood itself appreciates, declining viewership for the awards and a public that has largely dismissed the Oscars as an entertaining but largely meaningless fashion show for people with more money than sense.
Last night's broadcast had the lowest ratings of any Oscar Night on record. Take the hint.
Thank the Great Bird of the Galaxy for Tivo. Now, for your completely useless amusement, is a recap of the opening sequence, so we can check off all the movies you always meant to see.
A van I originally thought was a Hummer goes toward Hollywood, despite the visuals that imply it’s New York City. While entering the street, we see McQueen from CARS muttering that you turn right to go left, and the DeLorean from BACK TO THE FUTURE passes the Truckinator.
SPIDER-MAN swings by the screen as the EASY RIDERs pass us and Megatron the TRANSFORMER attacks from the rear. Dodging well, the van veers away from Megatron, but it blows up the street behind it.
KING KONG swings down from a skyscraper to bash the CLOVERFIELD monster in its misshapen noggin. I smell a crossover that is dying to happen. You know there are at least two studio execs working on that right now. And it will suck.
The HULK bursts up out of the ground for some reason, and Cary Grant decides this is worse than a plane in a cornfield and hauls his pixels away. The van passes him and a GOOD MORNING VIETNAM Robin Williams, DIRTY HARRY, ROB ROY, a few flying cars from some future I don’t recognize, a Man With No Name (hey, is that two Eastwoods in one screen?) and a badly pixeled Danny Glover and Mel Gibson get out of their LETHAL WEAPON sedan.
Behind them, hilariously, is our favorite PIRATE(s) OF THE CARIBBEAN.
Sigourney Weaver suits up to blow away some ALIEN tail. INDIANA JONES cracks his whip. Darth Vader of the original STAR WARS faces off against SPARTACUS while a black-and-white gentleman in a suit is, I’m sorry to say, impossible to determine. Darn, he’s the only one I can’t really identify. Rats!
A DOG DAY AFTERNOON Al Pacino shouts at nobody in partcular while giant flying eagles or dragons or something fight in midair. Can anyone name them? Oh wait, you all didn’t Tivo this, since you have lives. Al Pacino’s line, by the way, is the hilarious “I’m going to get this thing done in half an hour!” Which, as we all know, is impossible for Oscar. HARRY POTTER whizzes by on his broom and the Truckinator smashes through a railroad crossing. Don’t do that, kids.
The license plate on the Truckinator reads HLLWD-1, in case you care. I’d have put the SPACEBALLS bumper sticker on it: “We brake for nobody.” Especially since the ALIEN attacks it (only movie series to appear twice!).
Now we’re really in Hollywood, because the Truckinator is passing a dancing John Travolta from SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER and MARY POPPINS is landing on the sidewalk. DANCES WITH WOLVES crosses the street in uniform as we spy a TRAINING DAY Denzel Washington beside Warren Beatty’s BONNIE AND CLYDE. Meryl Streep crosses the street (I think from KRAMER VS. KRAMER, but I could be wrong, as SHREK loiters and a LEAVING LAS VEGAS Elisabeth Shue and Nicolas Cage watch.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie hug in their post-MR. AND MRS. SMITH pose, um, I think. I never watch their movies. Meanwhile, George Clooney flips a coin (is that from FROM DUSK TIL DAWN?).
Here come BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID on horseback, followed by LAWRENCE OF ARABIA on camelback, Eddie Murphy snickering about Norbit’s total failure as Robert De Niro looks at him as though he’s crazy from some movie where he probably was.
Three rewinds and I can’t see who the security guy is – I’d say he was Kevin Costner from THE BODYGUARD, but that movie wasn’t good enough to be in this list. Wait! I think he’s The Agent from the MATRIX movies. Oh well, I didn’t like those either. *ducking flames*
The Truckinator pulls up, and of course it’s driven by Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Terminator. I can even tell you the face he’s making behind the wheel is from the moment in TERMINATOR 2 when he’s holding a grenade launcher and trying to smile because ordnance makes him happy.
Yes, I am a movie geek. Take a look up at the top of the screen, folks. What does it say there? CULTUREGEEK. There ya go.
Cameras flash and they open the back of the Truckinator. It is, of course, full of shiny golden Oscars, and it’s time for the awards.
You might notice, by the way, that most of the wonderful smash-em-up movies described in this sequence will never appear on Oscar’s stage. Why? Because they’re too much fun. Here’s a hint to the Oscar guys, as deduced from the many comments I’ve heard this morning: “Oh, I missed the Oscars? Oh well, I hadn’t seen any of the movies anyway.”
Courtesy of the Associated Press, I bring you Marketa Irglova's speech. You know, the musician chased offstage by the orchestra and brought back on by Jon Stewart?
"The fact that we're standing here tonight, the fact that we're able to hold this, it's just proof that no matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible," Irglova said during take two. "And, you know, fair play to those who dare to dream, and don't give up. This song was written from the perspective of hope, and hope, at the end of the day, connects us all, no matter how different we are."
Brava.